Help Me End “Mommy Wars”

I’m proud to be working with Similac on a sponsored campaign to help end “mommy wars”. This week I’m sharing about a time I felt judged by another mom because of a parenting choice I make. Hope you’ll watch the video below and be able to relate!

In the video above I share that another mom implied that I didn’t value family time because my kids were in a bunch of sports and activities. It hurt that she thought that, because we do value family time, but I know that this is the right choice for my family. My kids love being active and making new friends and I’ve seen their social skills blossom over the past few years.

A perfect example of the growth I’ve seen happened at the playground the other day. Lucas, who is on the Autism spectrum, used to just wander around, watch other kids play and not talk to anyone. A few years later his play at the playground is totally different. He is now able to communicate with other kids enough to play made-up games with them. He is learning to follow rules, remain calm when things don’t go his way and take turns. I contribute this social growth to the hours a week he spends with other children in school and on the sports field or at his other activities.

It’s a lot of work for me to get my kids to where they need to be every day but I know this is right for our family. Whether your kids are in no extracurricular activities, just a couple, or a handful, I want you to know that you are doing the right thing for YOUR family.

Have a “mommy war” story to share? I invite you to head to the Similac Facebook page and share it using the hashtag #EndMommyWars.

Let’s Stop Judging Each Other

(Disclosure: I am partnering with Similac on their “Sisterhood of Motherhood” #SisterhoodUnite campaign but all thoughts are my own.)

Seven years ago this past June I became a mom for the first time. I was excited, overwhelmed, in love, tired and nervous all at the same time. Since I only knew one other local mom my age I dove into the online world to connect with other moms. I started a blog, got more active on social media, and joined as many local mom groups as I could.

Since my son had not come with an instruction manual I decided that other moms were my best resource for parenting tips and advice. I made a lot of wonderful mom friends that I still keep in contact with to this day. Moms that encouraged me and helped me when I needed it. Those were the type of people that I was looking for in my life.

As much as I found support in the online world and my local groups, I also discovered a lot of people that only made me feel worse about my parenting choices. Everything from feeding choices to diapering choices to how I chose to calm my baby. Even things like using a pacifier I felt judged about. I posted the above picture to social media with the below caption. Why did I feel the need to explain my one year old using a pacifier?

Most of the above things I tried not to let bother me but some things hurt more than others, many of which really came about after my second son was born. Those were things like when people wondered how I could work while raising my kids, when people judged me as my childen were having meltdowns, and those that pretty much disappeared from my life as soon as I started to use the terms “special needs”, “SPD” and “Autism” (whether because they didn’t want to be around for the journey, thought we couldn’t connect anymore or didn’t approve of my using labels I’ll never know but I feel like it was a combination of all of the above).

I was very hard on myself during the early years and second guessed a lot of the parenting decisions I was making, mostly because I felt judgement from others to do things differently. It took years to realize that the only ones that knew what was best for their children were the parents. I was doing the best I could and that was all that mattered.

Have you ever felt judged about parenting choices that you’ve made like the parents in the video above? Go to the Similac Facebook page and share the one thing you will do to help end the mommy wars. For me, it’s remembering that other parents are doing the best they can.

(Edited to add: Looking at pictures to find ones to add to this post I found a picture of me bringing Jacob home from the hospital. What I found? Someone commented and was judging me for carrying him in his carrier. Just goes to prove my point even more! Judgment is everywhere as a parent.)